...and punch me in the face, please? Or at least slap some sense into me.
I am making a real mess of all this.
As it is I am technically coaching myself, and of all the people I should listen to, I am not one of them.
This is not my area. I know about anatomy and the social care structures. And a fair bit about zombies and cakes.
If anyone wants any advice of those things, I'm your gal.
My loss of appetite is getting worse, mainly because the less I eat the less I want to eat. The kid went out last night and I so it was just me to eat, and I was going to cook (open a tin of beans and heat them up and everything!), but I totally forgot, and ended up eating cereal about 11pm. And a Fry's Chocolate Cream. They're my favourite.
And on top of that I can't sleep. I'm up till 2am talking rubbish on a Facebook and watching rubbish on Youtube. I know that's an overtraining thing, but I really don't feel like I'm doing enough, so how can I be overtraining? I feel quite energetic when I get up, but then I'll go for a run or something and like this morning, halfway through feel dizzy and lightheaded.
Any benefits I should be feeling from my lack of being on the pill is going to be lost at this rate.
And I have no wish to drop weight so quickly and be so weak the muscles don't build, that I end up looking like Gollum with a curly wig on.
But I don't want to take rest days. I know that's stupid and I'm acting like a 4 year old who doesn't want to go to bed, but sensible Lucy rarely wins these things. It's been 14 days since my last rest day.
The first thing I'm going to do is force myself to go to bed at a decent time, no matter how awake I am. Eventually I'll fall asleep, even if it's just through boredom.
I was thinking some kind of coach type person would be a good idea, but it would have to someone I respect and who I'm slightly scared of going against, and don't want to let down.
All the boxing coaches I've ever met have been really scary, and I've done everything they said, and tried really hard. I could use having one of them telling me what to do, except I'm not training to be a boxer and they have entirely the wrong skill set.
I think I need to eat and rest prescriptively, and make a point of not listening to myself.
And for someone to tell me what to do.